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December 13 Two Months Magic TimeTwo Months Magic TimeThe society was exerting a lot of pressure on me to change my job, so I did it. Now I have to be encompassed with new environment here, face unfamiliar person, bear homesick, the world is different from I expected before. I lost my way three weeks ago; you couldn’t understand the embitterment that resulted from the loss of job, though chances never left me. I was self-abased because of loneliness which made me stand aloof form the crowd. Maybe God like to crack a black humor on me. A gregarious person is often sentimental. As a woman, you must never speak what you think; your words must contradict your thought, but your actions may contradict your words. Sometimes I can’t distinguish between right and wrong, falseness and honesty. Tony’s words as a blade with a fine edge hurt me that the trust in him is seeping away in my heart. When I nearly try to give up the affairs, he sows seeds of hope. When I pluck up, he let me down again. For it is a true rule, that love is ever rewarded, either with the paying back, or with an inward and secret contempt. Autumn is the best time of the year in this ancient city. Two months are not too long or too short, but anything could happen. I began to miss many people, old friends, my family, and the former girl called Carrie without worry and sadness. My mind has been so crowded with conflicting emotions that I have little time to think about it.
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